There was a couple watching a bike race on TV. Then she got restless.
“I have to go to work.”
“Quit your job.”
“If lose my job what’ll I do then? I send my family something every month.”
“We could go for a walk.”
He got up and played a children’s song from his childhood.
“All creatures great and small
Gathered for a grand masked ball.
The turtle from a turtle race
Played trumpet at a hurtling pace.
The chameleon, chameleon
Puffed on a bulky bombardon
And all the lice, the little lice
They made a noise that was not nice.
The bumblebees, the bumblebees
Banged on bombastic tympanis.
The eel, the eel, performed a slithering reel.
The leopard, with a spotted scarf,
Was waiting for his better half.
The flamingo, the flamingo
Was looking for some place to go.
The mule, the stubborn mule
Was sprawling in a vast fautule
The water’s mirror showed the swan
That he was looking rather wan.
And the hippo, hippopotamus
Behaved bad like a lot of us.
The swine, the swine,
Who wasn’t very fine. . . . . . . ”
“Would you like some ravioli?”
“Does someone named Walter Rathenau work at your place?”
“Or coffee?. . . . . . . Walter Rathenau was assassinated in Germany a long time ago, you silly goose.”
“The buffalo, the buffalo
Bawls to the goose a gruff hello,
While the spotted salamander
Slides down to the veranda.
The fly, the fly
Stands outside in the pantry.
A parrot who could count to three
squawked “Pretty Polly” constantly.
The storks, the storks,
were camouflaged as hawks.
The wolves, a pack of twelve,
Had sheepishly disguised themselves.
The bugs, even the little bug,
Began to dance a jitterbug.
And when it danced, the eagle
Did something very regal.
The fleas, the fleas,
Hopped in the air with ease.
Then suddenly the hall was still.
They all sat down to eat their fill.
The raven and the stork
Ate soup with just a fork.
The giraffay, the giraffay
Ate chocolate wafers with café
And the serpent for a change
Tried to eat a blood orange.
The lizard, oh the lizard
Had pork crackling in its gizzard
The gnu, the gnu
Had eaten quite enough he knew.
The auroch, who was soon replete,
Asked who would like the rest to eat.
The dromedary chewed at length
On caviar, to give him strength.
The snipe was but a snipe,
Though clearly not a guttersnipe.
The llama, the llama
Finished off with a banana.
That this was just a nonsense song
Was something we knew all along
Ey da la la la, ey da la la la la la la
LA. . . . LA. . . . . . . LA. . . . . . . LA. . . . . . . ”
“Like a schnapps?”
“We’ve simply got to get some ammonium nitrate fertilizer.”